The Unexpected

Following my last blog, Life Inside the Box , I’m going to tell you the series of events that occurred over the next month and a half. This will, of course, be over the course of a few more posts. But, just to give you a bit of insight on what you are about to read, I was not living in faith. I was living in a state of fear and uncertainty of what was to come next. I believe this is the sole reason as to why I had to go through the unfortunate, yet eye-opening circumstances I am about to unveil to you.

After I was let go from my job, I immediately found another one. This new job came with a substantial pay cut, along with a totally contrasting environment than I expected to be in. You see, I was grasping at straws, trying everything in my power to put the broken pieces of my life back together. Little did I know that if I only had faith that God would provide for my husband and I, things would have worked out a tad bit different than they did.

I had just got off work and was on my way to see a friend, when I was in a car accident that totaled my beloved Jeep. When I say beloved, I mean that I absolutely LOVED my Jeep. But, here’s the kicker: I did not realize that I had put my vehicle (a materialistic possession) before a lot of things in my life. Most importantly, I put it before God and His people. However, in the moment, I did not see it this way. I saw it as the devil pulling me down into the unknown. First taking the highest paying job I had ever obtained, and now the nicest vehicle I had ever owned?! Why was this happening to me, and why, of all times, now? What was I doing wrong? How could I fix this?

My downward spiral began to get out of control. I didn’t know who to turn to or where I would go from here. I had no idea that this was only the beginning of many more life changing events. Though I am telling you this in my present circumstances, please know that I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason. Although I may not know exactly what the reason for all of this is yet, I believe that it will all make sense one day. I will know, without the shadow of a doubt, why each and every hardship I have been through came and met me in the midst of my own personal nightmare.

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Life Inside the Box

It was a beautiful Monday morning as I walked into the office towards my cubicle, and, once again, I began thinking, “there has got to be more than this”. I’m sure many of you are familiar with this same, or similar, thought as you walk into your own office or cubicle. It usually starts off small, with a pang here and there, causing you to slowly begin loathing your “box”. Then your boss (or yourself, if you own your own business) is standing over your shoulder, demanding impossible deadlines, and the stress starts to take over. You feel anxious, frantic, worried… the list goes on. I get it. I’ve been in your shoes. I have wanted out of what I perceived to be my cage. To be released into my own world – full of all the things I love to do. Things like reading, spending time with my family, having girls night (without being completely exhausted), and… well, you get the picture. I simply wanted to live my own life, not dictated by anyone or anything.

About a year ago, I decided I was tired of spending 40+ hours slaving away in my cubicle: scattered with paperwork and endless to-do lists. So, my husband and I began our own company, in an attempt to free me (and eventually him) from our 8-5 grind – A.K.A. working for “the man”. Fast forward 10 months later. Although things didn’t go exactly as I had planned them to, I am currently job-free. Friend, I cannot stress to you how serious I am when I say things didn’t go as planned.

At the end of October, I was laid off from my long-term position as an Office Manager for a small family owned business. It was unexpected. It was hard. It was… AMAZING. As I drove back home, a 45 minute to an hour commute, I was overwhelmed with joy. I was crying, but not tears of fear or sadness. These were tears of pure bliss. Until that very moment, I had no idea just how badly I needed out of that painful place I called my box.

Once I got home, the fear set in. What were we going to do? What about the bills? How would we be able to make it through the holidays? I immediately got on my laptop and began cancelling, or pausing, auto-drafts. In the moment, the very first auto-draft I paused was my tithes to the church. That makes sense because I would not have an income coming in, right? Well, it depends on how you look at it. In the following blog posts, I will tell you how I overcame my lack of faith in the unexpected.